All this talk about business lately has me thinking about GOALS. And how to approach them like all other things in my business and in life– with grace and ease and intentionality.
Hey, don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with BIG goals and going for your dreams. I think it’s actually a nonnegotiable of living a full, heart-centered life.
But when they’re massive, unapproachable things that you can’t seem to figure out how to deconstruct because it’s all just too much at once, well, that’s not ideal either. It’s kinda like food– we’ve been taught that going to extremes is the only way to do it. Meaning setting huge, massive, giant goals you can’t stick to— and then getting discouraged and feeling down on yourself when you don’t reach it in a certain amount of time. Then saying screw it all. Whatever. Goals are dumb anyways.I’m too busy. Life got in the way. Etc, etc, etc. Anyone relate?
So… can I invite you somewhere beautiful and way more pleasant than extreme-ville?
It’s called the land of gray over here– the middle, more mindful place to come from with this stuff (and weird/not weird– this is true with food too). Where you get massive results, but over time. And because you change your foundations first: your beliefs, your mindset and tuning in to who YOU are before making any plans.
I think you’re gonna love it there. I know I’ve seen such a difference when I come from that place.
Because truth: when we approach goals with BALANCE, with realism plus the right MINDSET and a healthy amount of self-worth, they become a whole lot easier to stick with. It’s magic, when you finally crack the code.
So today, I’m sharing what I’ve found to be the mistakes many people (myself included at so many points along the way, helloooo) make when goal setting… and how to do it instead.
5 mistakes people make when goal setting
1. Setting BIG goals without considering how the end result will make you FEEL.
Yep, you guys ALLL know I love me an ambitious, dreamy goal, but when you set them for yourself, have you ever paused to ask yourself WHY you want that thing. That career change, business growth, relationship status, healthier body, that position, that title, that person by your side.
Why is it that you want what you want? And how would you feel if you were to get it?
Is it for the accolades? The positive reinforcement from your family or followers?
Is it for your pride?
Or is it really, truly to make your life more meaningful and elevated in some substantial way?
When you consider how each goal will make you feel– that’s really the thing that we need to focus on. The feeling vs. the accomplishment or accolade itself.
If it’s all about gaining worthiness or applause, it’s never going to feel as good as you expect once the clapping quiets.
Set the big goals. But set them for YOU. For how they’ll make you feel in the end, not for anyone else.
2. Breaking promises to yourself.
Think about it like this: goals are promises to yourself. So it’s up to you to be impeccable with your word.
If you made a date to meet up with a girlfriend for coffee, you wouldn’t just not show up.
It’s a promise and commitment in your calendar, mind and day.
So why would we not be as intentional with our OWN commitments to ourselves?
You must build trust with yourself in order to… trust yourself.
Mind blowing stuff you guys. But HOW TRUE IT IS.
If you have trouble following through on your word to yourself, then just know you’re not alone.
It’s not always easy, esp. when we’re all in on taking care of others first (ladies and mamas, lookin’ at you because I sooooo get it).
My advice? Start small. Like, really SMALL.
Promise yourself one thing, every day.
Move your body for 10 minutes. Don’t look at your phone first thing in the morning. Be still for 5 mins a day.
Just, something. That excites you, that you want to stick to, and then– stick to it. Show up for yourself.
Build that self-trust and then continue adding more promises to the picture that get bigger and that make you feel good.
3. Not understanding who you need to BE to make this goal a reality.
A lot of times with big goals especially, the person we need to be for them to become a reality is not the person we currently are.
And that’s not a BAD thing. It’s just the truth.
When we want to grow and improve and move to the next level, we need to show up as the already elevated version of ourselves for it to happen.
How do you need to act and be in your daily life to make this thing come true much easier and faster, too?
Goal setting = a great form of personal growth.
It’s putting yourself in the shoes of future you. To know what your priorities will be and lifestyle will look like when you reach that thing, and then going there.
4. Not setting goals because you’re afraid.
I call it GOAL SHY. You know, like gun shy, but for goals. Get it?
It’s when you’re paralyzed by fear of failure, so you just ignore goals all together.
It’s what a lot of recovering goal-setters opt to do. Because if you’re a human who has set big goals, odds are you haven’t reached all of them.
And that can do some things to our hearts and minds.
It can make us a bit weary, and a bit jaded.
So we stop.
Until it begins to feel like we’re settling. Like giving up. And not meeting our full potential. Which feels like a different form of failure.
So the answer isn’t to quit on goals. At least, not forever.
It’s to keep showing up and trying. To allow them to pivot and shift as you learn more about yourself. To not be so rigid about attaining them, and letting time play out as you keep showing up for yourself and staying true to your promises.
Because this I know: you won’t land among the stars if you don’t shoot for the moon.
5. Not feeling worthy of the goals on your heart.
Shocker shocker– so much of this work is around shifting your mindset. How you feel about YOU is so important.
Feeling worthy. And being aware of where your self-worth comes from.
The most magnetic, ambitious people are confident in themselves at the end of the day.
THEY believe in themselves more than anyone else believes in them (AMEN).
And they feel worth in the things they are dreaming about.
This is almost like, step number one before even shaping your goals. It’s learning to know yourself wholly and trust your intuition and dreams.
And I think, when you find that belief in you and begin showing up for yourself in small ways, everything about goal setting will change for you. In the best way.
And I can’t wait to see what you accomplish.
Is starting a business something you’re dreaming about or thinking about too, or do you have a business of your own? Grab all my favorite resources, books, podcasts in one spot my free downloadable business resource guide here.