Something you probably didn’t know about me (but that my private clients do): I have no problem calling things like I see it.
Especially when it’s calling people out when I see them doing things & repeating thought patterns that keep them continually stuck, or block them from living the life I know they are so deeply craving and wishing for.
In the kindest way possible. And all out of love, of course.
It’s a part of the job.
So, today is one of those tough-love days.
Because the Simply Real Life Program closes on Monday, and I know, (I KNOW)– that there are some of you waffling around. Wondering if now is the perfect time, or maybe you’ll just do it next year. Or, if this is even the right fit for you. And you’ve tried everything, and nothing’s really worked for the long term.
I know. I get it. Those are real things.
However, I just want you to know what I’d say if we were on the phone, or chatting at the coffee shop down the street about it. Because, at the risk of sounding harsh, I know that for so many of you, those reasons are not actually the case.
I know. Deeper down:
It could be fear. Of failing at one more thing.
Fear of not following through and honoring yourself.
Fear of what others will think if this too, doesn’t work.
Or maybe, it’s a nervousness to give up your current routine and comforts, for the unknown. Like, what if I make you give up things that you don’t want to?! (although, note: this isn’t a thing).
All of those things are scary and hard, I know.
Or, maybe it’s being afraid of actually feeling those feelings that you’ve kept bottled in and tightly stuffed down, for your whole life.
Because, without using food as a distraction and source of comfort or numbing, what will come up when you actually dig into that stuff?
Big, dark and scary things that we can’t handle? Eeeeee…. (although for real? Not usually. Usually it’s more of a huge, loving flood of relief and sense of calm, although it’s that unknown thing our brain makes the worst assumptions for).
Or, maybe it’s not that kind of fear at all. Maybe it’s that you’re afraid that you don’t deserve to live a life that’s healthy and calm and balanced and happy.
Pay attention to that.
Or that you’re afraid it feels selfish and narcissistic to do a whole program around you, and your relationship to food. Life is busy, and so many other people rely on you, that taking time and money to finally focus on this, feels not as urgent. Although it’s so heavily important in the way your days play out.
Pay attention to that, too.
Or that you’re afraid that even with all the tools, support, love, and a step by step plan, that you’ll still get in your own way, and self-sabotage yourself.
Pay attention to that.
Or maybe it’s just the fear of being uncomfortable, or being challenged, and of your routine being shaken up. And that you don’t have enough time to deal with that.
Or worse- what happens if you DO succeed and shift so many things in the next 6 weeks? What will you be like then? How will it change things? What will the people you love think of you?
Pay attention to that.
Or, maybe, it’s a fear of sticking out, being different, or finally asking for what you want in life. That feels scary, for sure.
I just want you to know– all of these things, are normal. I just want you to know that I KNOW all of these things. They’re not weird.
But they most defiantly are things that don’t have to hold you back, if you’re sick of them doing so, in so many points in your life.
It’s usually the things we “fear” the most, that are the ones that we most need to face, and to finally address.
The more emotion it might stir up, the more hotly connected it probably is to so many deeper things for you. It’s like a little beam of light caught up in a web.
And in order to free up your life and heart and headspace, it’s usually the one “scary” thing that ends up alleviating and elevating everything else, once you look at it, with clear eyes and a willingness to bring it into the light.
Even within just a few days or weeks. That’s all it takes. Not a lifetime of agony or worry or fear. A few simple days, and a few short weeks.
I also want you to know, that there is never going to be a perfect time to do something like this. These thoughts and fears that so many of us have, may never go away. And life is too short to keep living years with this sort of limiting and fearful mentality.
It’s the reason I make everything so easy to do when you’re out and about, and IN THE CONTEXT of your normal daily life. In fact, that’s how it works best, to make real change. Not a retreat, and not life in perfect bubble.
So, let’s talk for a second, about the reverse. About what will happen if you don’t address these things?
- your not-so-great relationship to food, guilt and eating habits would get passed on to your young babies, kids and teenagers, repeating the cycle for another generation.
- it can affect all of your close relationships, especially in marriage, dating, or with your partner. Food is involved in so many parts of life, that getting grounded and feeling more free to experience life by way of food, is so worth digging down for just a few weeks to figure it out, just for your relationships alone. It’s also very hard for one person to have a great relationship to food and not gently spread it to the other one. It’s that deep and that powerful.
- that feeling of un-fulfillment won’t go away. There will always be a constant chase for the next diet, workout plan, vacation panicking, etc. You will never really feel settled, or totally present with where you are (and happy about it), without addressing this underlying piece.
- a more distracted/scattered life with wild swings up and down, phases of being “good” and then “bad”. Like a bad rollercoaster that doesn’t end.
- guilt continues to runs the show, and food is the boss of you. Always.
- continue to work the uphill battle, which is physically (and mentally, and emotionally exhausting). You can continue to waste precious time & resources focusing on everything else, when in reality, embracing that you want a better relationship to food and taking action on it, is the ONE THING that naturally moves and shifts everything else.
- sign up for a life in auto-pilot. Disconnected. Out of tune. And like a robot, repeating the same patterns that keep you stuck.
I say all of this out of love.
All of this, because maybe those “fears” aren’t real enough to keep you stuck, if you call them out for exactly what they are– excuses trying to keep you safe and comfortable. Even though, they may be doing the opposite.
And instead of running or turning away, what if you gently exhaled and softly leaned into it, this one time? That lesson alone in saying no to fear, and yes to bigger things in life, is the only starting point you need for success in something like this.
So, pay attention to those thoughts, and those things. But, see them for what they really are. Warning signs or arrows, helping to guide the way?
Only you know, deep down. And only you get to choose which way you want to see them, and what you want to do about it.
Happy weekend, my loves.
Read more about the Simply Real Life Program here. Registration closes on Monday 4/3 for this once a year program, with lifetime access, support and membership.