I’ve been thinking so much lately. Maybe it’s hitting this 12 year mark in business this year, maybe it’s my season of life, maybe it’s a combo of both. I can’t believe it’s been over a decade doing this work. (These thoughts all started with this post last week, if you’re wondering what I’m talking about)
But then when I think about how my LIFE has evolved and growth right along with, it kinda blows my mind. When I started, I was single, back living at my parents house a few years out of college. Fresh off a breakup that devastated me. All my friends were in stable careers & serious relationships that were all taking off.
An my life felt like the opposite. Have you ever had that feeling? I was so happy for them. And not there, yet, in my own life.
And I had this tiny feeling in my gut—wondering:
What if I wanted MORE for me, that a job I felt so-so about?
What if there was more to life that what I was currently seeing? Or feeling.
What if there was someone out there, where it felt like a full-body yes—- without any reservation or hesitation?
I didn’t know exactly what that meant.
Or how it would look.
I could think of a million excuses or reasons why I logically shouldn’t. Or couldn’t.
But it was this tiny voice inside— saying BUT, WHAT IF?
WHAT IF it was possible?
WHAT IF there *was* something else out there for me? WHAT IF?
Was I willing to take the risk to find out? Or just always wonder?
Our bodies always know, don’t they?
That tiny voice is so wise.
I know that know. But, back then? It was distant. And then immediately followed by the voices of doubt. The ones that argue for your limitations. Not the infinite possibilities. But with little to lose (literally), I decided that why not try.
Why not me? Became the question.
And you know the wildest part about it?
That energy, of just jumping in— was a turning point in my life.
To say YES to what I really wanted.
To ALLOW myself to dream bigger than anything I could see out there.
To hold a vision of the future that I wanted to create… vs life just happening to me or going through the motions, or doing things because others around me were. Or that it was the socially acceptable path at the time.
It’s not shocking that when I look back now, that a few months in, a small fixer house popped up. That had bones (if you squinted really really really hard) for a small light filled kitchen.
And a few months after that, I met Kyle.
I will always remember it. That feeling of YES. THIS is it. THIS is what I’ve been waiting for. It felt so clear.
And what felt like god right behind me, pouring the path alongside with me. Saying—- keep going. This way.
And to think of it now. Just wow.
That first house, my first remodel. Where I shot & created & self published the entire 1st cookbook.
Where we got engaged, and I married to the man that was SO WORTH the wait for. We moved into that house together, me wildly creating and making messes and having so much FUN, I couldn’t believe that this was my job.
And then, soon after, a second house, together (and another major remodel)- this time with both of our visions blending. Where the 2nd cookbook was made, shot and edited. Where we brought home our first baby boy and became parents together. (And had to re-do the cover photo of that cookbook, being 6 weeks postpartum )
All the while, my business flowing. Evolving. Changing. As my life did.
Through 2020 as the world slowed down, pivoting this way & that.
Then our baby angel #2 came in – a girl!
And with it another location change because we needed a little more space, and a place to plant our roots as a family.
(With remodel projects that now are slow and take us so much longer).
And still.
I still in my office, and create. Year after year. so many different versions of me, sitting at that laptop. So many moments of challenge. Frustration. Where it feels like nothing is working. Or that it’s so much to learn and know. Every 2 months there is something new.
But still.
I keep going.
Evolving.
And so does my business, alongside me.
Lately I’ve felt this deeper shift coming. That I’m ready to evolve again. I’m ready to mix some things up. Nothing crazy (don’t worry, all of you who have been with me forever).
But I’ve been in a season of allowing myself to dream.
Do you ever let yourself do that?
I’ve been listening closely to that tiny voice inside. And the less I fight against her- and argue for my limitations — the better life seems to get. It feels like the next version of me is brewing. And as of now I only have tiny hints.
But I’m following it. Letting it untangle in my mind, and giving it a little breathing space to see what comes.
All of this to say, I’ve been thinking so much lately about how evolving is normal.
A sign of being in alignment. Of growing. Of getting older, and wise.
And makes us human.
But it can feel a little uncertain, or scary to let ourselves go there.
That’s how I feel now. Maybe you know exactly what I mean, in some part of your life right now. But I know if I stay with it— stay with the uncomfortable part—- something beautiful will come on the other side. I know now, it’s all a part of it. A part of running a business FOR SURE. But it’s also part of living a life that feels in alignment.
Learning to listen to myself, and not just letting everything run in autopilot. Too busy to stop, or think or get quiet. But then waking up years later and wondering how we got so far from our truth? Our soul?
Sometimes we need a little pause. That PERMISSION.
To check in, really, with ourselves. So that’s where I’m at now.
So, more to come this year; that’s for sure. When I know more, I’ll share it. But sometimes it’s the process of becoming new, that’s the more interesting part of the story. Not always just the end result. At least in my eyes.
But for now, I just thank you for being here, and being the best part of SRH for me— always, it’s this community. Thank you for being a part of this always-evolving journey.
xx,
Sarah
Photo by Carina Skrobecki